Woke up feeling like a 🥴 after last night’s party?
We’ve all been there — the pounding head, the blurry memories, and that desperate need for coffee ☕️ and sympathy. But hey, why suffer in silence when you can laugh through the pain?
This collection of hangover puns and jokes is perfect for captions, fun conversations, or just lightening the mood when your head feels like a marching band 🎺 is rehearsing inside it.
If you want short one-liners, cheeky dad jokes, or witty wordplay, we’ve got you covered!
So grab your 🍉 and aspirin, and let’s turn that hangover into a laugh-fest! 😂🥳
Hangover Puns One Liners
- I’m not hungover, my body’s just buffering.
- Hangover: nature’s way of saying, “You partied like a legend.”
- I don’t get drunk—I become a retroactive bad decision maker.
- Today’s forecast? 100% chance of regret with a drizzle of nausea.
- I came. I drank. I forgot what happened next.
- Coffee: because adulting with a hangover should be illegal.
- My liver just unfriended me.
- “Hair of the dog” sounds less helpful when it’s your ex’s dog.
- Last night: tequila. This morning: te-kill-ya.
- Hangovers are the adult version of timeout.
- Proof I had fun: the headache.
- I swear I’m never drinking again… until next weekend.
- I’m not late—I’m hungover and stylishly delayed.
- Alcohol: the only truth serum that causes memory loss.
- I partied so hard, my bed spun out of control.
Short Hangover Jokes for Adults
- Hangovers: life’s way of saying “you peaked last night.”
- I drank so much, my phone blocked me.
- Party like a rockstar, recover like a fossil.
- Sunday scaries? More like wine-and-cry therapy.
- I have a hangover.
- My soul left my body… and is refusing to come back.
- The only thing I’m mixing today is Gatorade with regret.
- Today’s mood: vertical is a suggestion, not a rule.
- I’ve got 99 problems and hydration is all of them.
- The only shots I’m taking today are of espresso.
- Call me Cinderella—I lost a shoe and all my dignity.
- That moment when water tastes like holy nectar.
- If I move too fast, I might time travel.
- I don’t snore—I karaoke in my sleep.
- My body is rejecting me like a bad Tinder date.
Short Funny Hangover Jokes
- My hangover and I need couples therapy.
- “You were hilarious last night” = I need to apologize.
- My pillow has a restraining order from my head.
- Sober thoughts don’t match drunk actions.
- I should be in the Hangover Hall of Fame.
- Morning after: 10% recovery, 90% shame scroll.
- Hangovers: because adulting wasn’t hard enough.
- Is it still partying if your liver is filing a complaint?
- I drank so much, my smart watch sent an SOS.
- Hungover me is mad at last night’s me.
- My brain is buffering… please stand by.
- Pizza: the official hangover peace offering.
- Even my shadow looks tired.
- Brunch? More like emergency rehydration with toast.
- I need a nap from thinking about my hangover.
Rude Hangover Jokes
- My hangover’s louder than your opinion.
- I woke up with a mouth drier than your personality.
- If I wanted this much pain, I’d text my ex.
- My liver called—said it’s breaking up with me.
- This headache hits harder than your comebacks.
- I’m not rude, I’m just severely dehydrated and slightly dying.
- Today’s mood: leave me alone or face my breath.
- My hangover’s more dramatic than your breakup.
- Even my regrets have regrets.
- If shame had a mascot, it’d be me right now.
- I didn’t choose the hangover life. It kidnapped me.
- I party like a beast, recover like a crusty raisin.
- Don’t talk to me unless you bring carbs.
- My attitude is hungover AF.
- I’m one sip away from rage or revival.
Clean Short Hangover Jokes
- Hydration is my new best friend.
- Hangover level: “Where’s my other sock?”
- Last night was sponsored by “Why not?”
- If sleep were a sport, I’d be MVP today.
- My stomach is on the struggle bus.
- Sunday brunch = hangover healing station.
- I need coffee, silence, and zero expectations.
- Why does my floor look like a bed?
- Hangover: just your brain asking, “What did you do?”
- I drank like a fish. Now I feel like a dead one.
- Blanket burrito mode: activated.
- I’m not lazy, I’m just in recovery mode.
- Today’s challenge: act normal.
- My calendar says “rest and rehydrate.”
- I’d laugh if my face didn’t hurt.
Hangover Puns Reddit Worthy
- Reddit recap: “Never again” club has 1M new members.
- Upvoting my decision to never drink again (until Friday).
- AMA: I survived Tequila Tuesday.
- Relationship status: ghosted by water.
- My liver filed a complaint on r/legaladvice.
- Hangover level: even my memes are tired.
- Found a support group: r/WhiskeyRegrets.
- Why does my fridge smell like decisions?
- I posted a blurry selfie and got concern awards.
- I’m trending on r/trashy—send help.
- Replaying Snap stories like CSI footage.
- Reddit’s cure: pickle juice and poor decisions.
- I asked for help—got gifs of judgment.
- This is karma for saying “just one drink.”
- My Reddit post said: “Still alive. Barely.”
..
Hangover Dad Joke Collection 🤪👨🦳
- Why did the hangover go to school? To learn from its mis-steaks 🥩📚.
- I told my liver a joke—it didn’t appreciate the punchline 🥊🤣.
- My hangovers so bad, even my dad jokes hurt 🤕😂.
- What’s a hangover’s favorite band? AC-Pain 🎸😵.
- Why did I bring an umbrella to the bar? For the brain storm after ☔️🧠.
- I asked my hangover to leave. It said, “I need closure first” 🚪🤐.
- What did the hangover say to the couch? “We meet again” 🛋️😴.
- Why don’t hangovers play hide and seek? They always find you 🙈😩.
- How do you make a hangover disappear? You can’t. It’s clingy 🤷♂️🥲.
- Why did the tomato turn red? It saw me after tequila night 🍅😳.
- What’s a hangover’s favorite hobby? Regret collecting 🏆😔.
- What did the hangover whisper? “Remember me forever” 🗣️😬.
- Why did the hangover fail the test? It couldn’t focus—too much buzz 📝🍻.
- What did I say to my hangover? “You’re grounded” 🙅♂️😤.
Knock Knock Jokes 🚪😂
- Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vodka.
Vodka who?
Vodka you let me drink so much? 🍸😅 - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Booze.
Booze who?
Booze idea: was it to party till 3am? 🥳😵 - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Coffee.
Coffee who?
Coffee the only friend I have today ☕️😴. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pain.
Pain who?
Pain is temporary. Tequila is forever 🥃🔥. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bed.
Who?
Bed I never left last night 🛏️🙈. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eggs.
Eggs who?
Eggs-scuse me while I cure this headache 🍳🤕 - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Toast.
Toast who?
Toast the hangover life—again 🍞😵. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dizzy.
Dizzy who?
Dizzy one trying to stand up 🤸♂️😵. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ginger.
Ginger who?
Ginger ale is my hangover BFF 🥤💖. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bagel.
Bagel who?
Bagel up, I’m about to pass out 🥯😴. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Shame.
Shame who?
Shame on me and all that tequila 😬🥃. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ouch.
Ouch who?
Ouch I did it again 😖🎶. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hang.
Hang who?
Hang onto something—I’m swaying 🤪🌀. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Party.
Party who?
Party of one in recovery mode 🎉➡️😷. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Blur.
Blur who?
Blur me another drink… wait no 🚫🍹.
Top Hangover Jokes for Quiz Nights 🧠🍻
- What’s a hangover’s worst enemy? A quiz buzzer 🔔🤕.
- Trivia tip: hangovers don’t help memory recall 🤯❌.
- Which came first, the chicken or the hangover? 🐔🤔🥴
- My IQ drops 50% during hangovers—and that’s generous 📉🧠.
- “Multiple choice” sounds scary with a hangover 😰❓.
- What’s a hangover’s favorite subject? Nap time 🛌😴.
- I tried answering a quiz question… replied “bacon” 🥓😵.
- What’s one thing I remember after a quiz night? Regret 😩📝.
- My quiz night team name? “The Head Bangers” 🎤🥳.
- Hangovers and pop quizzes have the same energy: painful ⚡️💥.
- I drink for fun, not for trivia 🍻😉.
- The only thing I’m quizzing is my memory 🤔🧠.
- What’s the capital of Hangover Land? Pillow 🛏️🗺️.
- If being hungover was a category, I’d ace it 🥇🤕.
- Can I use a lifeline for this headache? 📞😵.
Funny Names with Hangover Puns 🤡🍸
- Dizzy McChugface 🤪
- Sir Sips-a-Lot 🍹
- Captain Can’t-Even 😵💫
- Lord of the Swings (and Spins) 🎢
- Brunchzilla 🥞👹
- Queen of Regretovia 👑😬
- Baron von Bubbly 🍾
- Sleepy Shotsworth 🥃💤
- Miss Tequilana 💃
- The Rum Reaper ☠️🍹
- Hangin’ Hank 😴
- Lady Who-Was-That? 🤷♀️
- Sir Regrets-a-Lot 😭
- Whiskey Whispers 🥃🤫
- Chief Chug-A-Lug 🏆🍺
Witty Hangover Sayings for Signs and Menus
- “No talkie before coffee.” ☕️🤐
- “We serve breakfast and regrets.” 🍳😔
- “Bacon is our apology for last night.” 🥓🙏
- “Liquid courage is served daily. Hangovers optional.” 🥂😉
- “Our toast speaks louder than your headache.” 🍞😵
- “Enter as a zombie. Leave human.” 🧟♂️➡️🙂
- “Hydration station ahead!” 💧🚰
- “Scrambled eggs and scrambled memories.” 🍳🧠
- “This menu cures poor life choices.” 📜🙈
- “Warning: our mimosas are addictive.” 🍊🥂
- “Pain relievers available—ask for pancakes.” 🥞❤️
- “The only shots we serve now are espresso.” ☕️💥
- “Slippers not included, but judgment-free zone.” 🥿🚫😄
- “Recharging station for the broken.” 🔋💔
- “We’ll egg-pect you every Sunday.” 🥚📅
Short Hangover Puns and Wordplay 🧩🍹
- Te-kill-ya strikes again 🥃💥.
- My head is on the rocks—like my drink 🪨🥃.
- I’m still on pour mode 🥤➡️😵.
- W(h)ine and dine regrets 🍷😩.
- Brain: shaken, not stirred 🍸🧠.
- Booze snooze repeat 😴🍺🔄.
- Un-coffee-table mornings ☕️🚫.
- Mosa’d my mind 🍊🧠.
- Liver let die 💀🍷.
- Brew-can’t-handle-this 🍺🙅♂️.
- Whiskey-sick 🥃🤢.
- Blew my buzz-gage 🤯🍻.
- Fizzy memory fade 🥂❓.
- Rum-nesia hits hard 🥃💥.
- Morning grog-lorious ☀️🍹.
Punny Hangover Quotes 📝😆
- “Drunk me made promises sober me can’t keep.” 🤐🥂
- “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila… floor.” 🥃⬇️
- “Alcohol: Because adulting is hard.” 🧑💼🥳
- “Drink responsibly. Don’t text your ex.” 📵💔
- “I remember nothing, therefore I am hungover.” 🤯🥴
- “Coffee is proof that hangovers can be tamed.” ☕️🐎
- “Regret has a flavor: tequila.” 😬🍸
- “Hydrate like your hangover depends on it. Because it does.” 💧🙏
- “Champagne last night, pain today.” 🍾😵
- “Vodka may be clear, but my memories aren’t.” 🥃❓
- “From cheers to tears in 8 hours or less.” 🥂➡️😭
- “Drinking: because real emotions are exhausting.” 🥳😓
- “Life gives you lemons. Your hangover gives you silence.” 🍋🤐
- “Don’t mix drinks or metaphors.” 🍹🗣️
- “Sleep is temporary, shame is forever.” 💤😳
British Hangover Jokes 🇬🇧🍻
- I’m more knackered than a pub loo at closing 🚽😵.
- This headache proper minging, mate 🤕🤢.
- Got smashed, now I’m mashed 🍻➡️🥔.
- Feel like I got hit by a lorry full of regrets 🚚💥.
- My tea is the only thing holding me together ☕️❤️.
- Hungover harder than the queen’s jewels 👑💎😵.
- Last night was top banter. Today’s a right mess 🤪🧹.
- Brain’s still at the chippy, I think 🍟🤯.
- Sozzled Saturday = Sorry Sunday 🥳➡️😔.
- I’m rougher than a pub carpet 🧼😖.
- More confused than a tourist on the Tube 🚇❓.
- I need a fry-up and a cuddle 🍳🤗.
- My stomach’s doing the Macarena 💃🤢.
- Face feels like I’ve been rugby tackled by shame 🏉😳.
- I’m not drunk—I’m just still British 🇬🇧🍷.
Hangover Humor to Wrap It Up 🎭🤣
- What do you call a party without hangovers? Fiction 📚🤷♂️.
- My blood type is caffeine positive ☕️🅰️+.
- When I say “I’ll never drink again,” I mean until 6pm ⏰🥃.
- Hangover math: headache + shame = brunch 🍳🤕.
- Drunk me is fun. Hungover me sends apologies 😅😴.
- If blinking had a sound, mine would be screaming 😵😱.
- I’m experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by 🚨🤕.
- Hangovers: nature’s way of forcing a rest day 🌿🛌.
- I woke up like this… and I hate it 😩📸.
- Note to self: wine is not hydration 🍷🚱.
- My mirror said, “Try again tomorrow” 🪞😬.
- When the room spins but you’re lying down—it’s hangover ballet 🩰🌀.
- I need a nap, a snack, and a life do-over 😴🍕🔄.
- Party hard, recover soft 🎉➡️🛌.
- Pain now, pints later 🍺😖.
🎉 Final Conclusion
Hangovers may leave you groggy, grumpy, and glued to the couch, but a good pun can work wonders! With funny one-liners, cheeky dad jokes, witty captions, and all-out wordplay, this article served up hangover humor hotter than your morning coffee. Whether you’re still sipping water or back to brunch mode, keep these puns handy to share with your squad, laugh through the pain, and turn your post-party moans and groans of laughter. Cheers to that! 🍻
